Some might argue that a gender-reveal party is one of the most anticipated moments in the yearlong process of pregnancy. Gender-reveal parties are events where parents and guests altogether learn a baby’s gender. Although this tradition has become something very natural in our lives, there are concerns that a gender-reveal party actively reinforces gender binarism and stigmatizes nonbinary genders. If one were to be born gender nonconforming, it would be beyond disturbing to find out that there was a gender-reveal party hosted with genders that one does not identify with. Is attending a gender-reveal party an active way to affirm society’s gender binarism?
Others might argue that the celebration of the discovery that the child is biologically male or female does not stigmatize trans, intersex, or nonbinary people. The biological sex of the child is separate from the identified ge nder of the child; the parents can be happy in both situations where the child is biologically a female, and when the child later turns out to be gender-neutral. As technology develops, prenatal identification may develop, leading us to a world where gender-reveal parties can be true to their name. Plus, it is highly improbable that gender-conformists would change their minds just because gender-reveal parties disappear.
My perspective on the issue is as follows: although gender reveals parties are not the biggest problem we face, it is not helping the integration of gender non-conforming people into mainstream society. Gender-reveal parties do not exist for the purpose of celebrating a specific sex over the other. They rather are celebrating the fact that they get to know (or to be clear, probably get to know) one fact about their child. In that sense, the conventional gender-reveal party effectively signals that certain binary stereotypes, such as blue for boys and pink for girls. Although they don’t directly point to a gender-binary mindset, it is true that the absolute majority of people naturally link the revealed sex to the child’s gender. Gender-reveal parties are a tradition that roots themselves from the age-old perspective of gender-binarism and justifies stereotypes we place on each sex.
However, the eradication of gender-reveal parties is not an immediate priority. Not only will it hardly change the minds of gender-binary supporters, but it acts more like an indicator of our social change. We must initiate other changes that eradicate the gender-binary mindset. More people must accept the fact that our biological sex and identified gender are separate concepts. Trans, intersex, or nonbinary people must be naturally integrated into mainstream culture, politics, and education. Then, gender-reveal parties will naturally change.
Y.C.Kim